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Where it all began

Fear's sort of an odd thing. When I was in residency my first solo procedure was a spinal surgery on a 16 year old kid, a girl. And at the end, after 13 hours, I was closing her up and I, I accidentally ripped her dural sac, shredded the base of the spine where all the nerves come together, membrane as thin as tissue. And so it ripped open and the nerves just spilled out of her like angel hair pasta, spinal fluid flowing out of her and I: and the terror was just so crazy. So real. And I knew I had to deal with it. So I just made a choice. I'd let the fear in, let it take over, let it do its thing, but only for 5 seconds, that's all I was going to give it. So I started to count, 1.2.3.4.5. And then it was gone...

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03 October 2010 @ 09:23 am

102 counted | Count to 5?

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( 102 counted — Post a new comment )

igoback2black on October 3rd, 2007 10:26 am (UTC)

yay, friends only. Much safer :) Still friends?

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 11:32 am (UTC)

of course babe! ;)

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yas_m5 on October 3rd, 2007 10:47 am (UTC)

a goose free journal is a happy journal. *sigh*
I love you and still wanna be friends, k? pretty please? :-*

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 11:34 am (UTC)

franci loves u back *puppy eyes*

a goose free journal is a happy journal
LOL! precisely!

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atlshoegirl on October 3rd, 2007 11:24 am (UTC)

Keep me on your list 'ok?

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 11:34 am (UTC)

of course babe! *hugs*

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sallyna_smile on October 3rd, 2007 11:33 am (UTC)

uhhhhh...ci sono ;D

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 11:34 am (UTC)

ahah! eccerto sally *high five*

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upsa_daisy on October 3rd, 2007 11:53 am (UTC)

awww your icon!! hee. her laugh is SO awesome.

I'd like to stay too :)

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 12:05 pm (UTC)

her laugh is freakin' histerical!
of course you're staying ;) *hugs*

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tattiff on October 3rd, 2007 01:24 pm (UTC)

Franci, you help keep me sane and in perspective in this crazy fandom. I would very much like to stay.

*hugs*

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 01:43 pm (UTC)

you help keep me sane and in perspective in this crazy fandom
ahah! always a pleasure dear!

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jatesoul on October 3rd, 2007 02:21 pm (UTC)

I hope we are still friends?
Despite of my bad English^^

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 02:25 pm (UTC)

of course we are! *hugs*
and your english is not bad at all!

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losty_ville on October 3rd, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC)

yay friends only! :D it's always safer
still friends? :)

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 03:35 pm (UTC)

yup.safer is better! hehe.
of course we are babe! *high 5*

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kickflip_jater on October 3rd, 2007 03:19 pm (UTC)

Franciiii, don't forget me (not that you ever could with the greatness that is April 3rd :P), please keep me on that list of yours. :D

^I know that sounds a little disjointed by I'm really tired and apparently losing the will to make sentences correctly...

*hugs*

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 03:36 pm (UTC)

LOL! you don't need to ask! april 3rd ftw!

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jevousverrai on December 15th, 2007 09:51 am (UTC)

dracke on December 15th, 2007 10:01 am (UTC)

nicky_phoicsxy on October 3rd, 2007 03:35 pm (UTC)

friends? please?
your journal is awesome!

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 03:38 pm (UTC)

aw thanks :D
of course you're in!

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_milz_ on October 3rd, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC)

We're OTP. Right? ^^

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 08:24 pm (UTC)

dude,we're CANON!

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ale_la_pazza1 on October 3rd, 2007 08:29 pm (UTC)

Non dimenticarti di me ;)

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dracke on October 3rd, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)

certo che no mia carissima! :D

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strangelove311 on October 3rd, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)

You are going to be in big trouble if you don't keep me my jaby :p
*smack*
^haha my first sentence makes that sound like the bad kind of smack, but you know what it means ;)

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dracke on October 4th, 2007 06:59 am (UTC)

haha!of course you're staying "daddy"..lol,that sounds way too weird!
*smack*

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strangelove311 on October 4th, 2007 07:08 am (UTC)

atlshoegirl on October 3rd, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC)

Hey, keep me on board OK?
Man, this friends only thing is getting massive.
I'm going to hold out and not go there yet.
Alas, I may change my mind. I protect the majority of my posts now anyways.

Peace

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polvodestrella on October 4th, 2007 08:11 am (UTC)

We have a lot of friends in common, so I wondered if you'd add me to your flist. I've added you :)

*hugs*

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dracke on October 4th, 2007 09:05 am (UTC)

of course I will!
friends of my friends are my friends.lol.and if they're jack's fans it's even better :D
btw,your header is awesome!

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aquakinesis on October 11th, 2007 03:09 am (UTC)

Hey Franci we got a lot of things in common.
I love jate, ya love jate.
So i added you, i hope we can be friends.

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dracke on October 11th, 2007 07:11 am (UTC)

of course we can :D
I've added you! *hugs*

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ailandee on October 21st, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC)

what... well, we're friends, right babe? :)

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dracke on October 21st, 2007 08:25 pm (UTC)

u don't even have to ask Anne babe! *hugs*

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jklove on October 23rd, 2007 03:51 pm (UTC)

Hey can i be your friend. Well why. because you are my favourite Jater!

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dracke on October 23rd, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)

omg your favorite jater? *blushes* ahah.of course you can.I'm adding you!

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marty_paige on November 2nd, 2007 06:39 am (UTC)

Dal tuo bellissimo avatar deduco che tu sia Jate!
Add me if you want! =)

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giuly82 on November 5th, 2007 08:49 am (UTC)

Ma socia...io posso essere amica?

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dracke on November 5th, 2007 10:44 am (UTC)

lol! socia tu sei gia amica! sei tu che devi aggiungermi tra i tuoi amici cosi vedi quando posto nuove entrate! ;) *smack*

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giuly82 on November 5th, 2007 02:10 pm (UTC)

acertainpain on November 7th, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)

dmcp;s,z;xdc,fgvbhZOMFG header! lol

It's Liz - New Journal:P

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dracke on November 8th, 2007 12:30 am (UTC)

Liz hun! *hugs* so you have 2 lj now?!
i'm adding u ;)

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julesina on November 28th, 2007 09:06 am (UTC)

Ciao Fra!!
Pensavo di averti già tra gli amici e invece mi son accorta di no... che testa... ti va di aggiungermi?

Ciao Jules

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dracke on November 28th, 2007 11:13 am (UTC)

ciao Jules!!! è vero non ci siamo mai viste su lj! ti addo subbbbito! :D

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julesina on November 28th, 2007 11:24 am (UTC)

carlie06 on December 2nd, 2007 07:46 pm (UTC)

chello!

this is your FF mod speaking. ;) I gave in to pure boredom and temptation and i am offically an lj-er.

we're friends, right? ;)

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dracke on December 2nd, 2007 08:06 pm (UTC)

Carlieeee *glomp*
so glad you joined lj! I'm adding you babe!*high5*

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carlie06 on December 2nd, 2007 08:11 pm (UTC)

luna481516 on January 31st, 2008 05:07 am (UTC)

Franci, I realized I didn't have you on my flist (it's mom from the Fuse). Aggiungiami, per favore, carissima!

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dracke on January 31st, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)

mom! i cant believe I havent you in my flist! adding u right now ;)

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(Anonymous) on January 31st, 2008 10:33 pm (UTC)

Frà sono Rowan,
sono tornata a Roma ma il pc è andato e ho dovuto cambiare tutto compreso msn. Contattami via freefans (pm) domani mattina appena ti svegli e mandami il tuo indirizzo msn che non lo ricordo!
un bacio!

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